Retarded News Archives on theboneonline.com

January 27, 2009

It's a wardrobe malfunction that Janet Jackson and Judy Finnegan would no doubt sympathise with.

Russian figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva was being twirled around by her partner, Ivan Shefer, when her costume started to slip.

The 23-year-old kept smiling, but with the next move requiring her partner to hold her hand above her head, the inevitable happened.

Full Story.

January 23, 2009

Get a FLYING CAR. Thanks to a company called Terrafugia, you can buy the Transition which is the world's first flying car for just $194,000. It's actually a flying car. Or as the people at Terrafugia like to call it a "roadable aircraft". It's a small, two-seater airplane but its wings fold up so you can drive it as a car. It has a top speed of 115 miles per hour and it's capable of flying nearly 500 miles on a single tank of regular unleaded gas. In order to fly the Transition, you need to have your sport aviation license. A sport aviation license is basically just like a regular pilot license only you don't need nearly as much training or flying hours to get it. Terrafugia has already received deposits on more than 40 Transitions and they expect the first road-ready and air-ready crafts to be completed by next year.

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January 20, 2009

David Mackie a 35-year-old salesman from Oklahoma apparently has good sense of humor. Unfortunately, the people at Capital One do not. David had the idea of personalizing his Capital One credit card with a picture of Nick Nolte'S immortal, 2002 DUI mug shot. So he went online and submitted a design featuring the picture and the image was APPROVED. The card was printed and sent to him but just a few days later, somebody at Capital One caught the error. It turns out that celebrity images are among the things Capital One won't let you have on your credit card. So they called Mackie and asked him to return the card. He complied but at least he got 50 bucks in credit from Capital One for his troubles.

Full Story.

January 12, 2009

On Friday, a group in Alaska called Lucky Times Pull-Tabs held a $500,000 charity raffle to benefit "Standing Together Against Rape", a nonprofit organization that works with victims of sexual abuse. The guy who won the raffle, 53-year-old Alec Ahsoak of Anchorage, is a THREE-TIME CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER. Alec was convicted of sexual abuse against a minor TWICE in 1993 and then again in 2000.

According to one of the raffle's organizers, "We don't mind taking money from anybody to help victims of sexual assault." After taxes, Alec took home about $350,000. He says he'll donate $100,000 of his winnings to Standing Together Against Rape and he'll use the rest to buy a new house.

Full Story.

January 12, 2009

In 2004, 25-year-old Andre Thomas of Texas was sentenced to death after he murdered his wife and their two young kids and cut out their hearts. Just before his trial, Thomas plucked out his right eye in what seemed like an attempt to be found mentally unfit to stand trial. It didn't work.

It gets better. On December 9, 2008, Thomas removed his OTHER EYE. According to a representative for the prison, Thomas, "pulled out his eye and subsequently INGESTED IT." That's right - Andre removed his last good eye and ATE IT. Andre was taken to the hospital for treatment before being transferred to a prison psychiatric unit. His execution date hasn't been set yet.

Full Story.

January 8, 2009

In 2001, Dawnell Batista of Garden City, New York was on the verge of death. Luckily, her husband, 49-year-old Richard Batista, stepped up and donated one of his kidneys to save her life. Of course, that was before Richard found out that Dawnell was cheating on him.

The couple got divorced in 2005, but now, Richard is suing Dawnell and he's given her two options:

Dawnell can either give Richard his kidney back.
She can agree to pay him $1.5 MILLION for the organ that saved her life.

According to Richard,"I saved [Dawnell's] life. But the pain is unbearable...This is my last resort. I didn't want to be in the public eye."

Full Story.

January 6, 2009

A 27-year-old Deltona woman told authorities she bit her husband's penis because she didn't want to have sex with him. Charris Bowers was arrested Saturday by a Volusia County sheriff's deputy, accused of misdemeanor battery. A judge set her free Sunday without requiring her to post bail. Her husband, Delou Bowers, today would not comment.

According to a sheriff's office report, the Bowerses had been to a bar Friday night. Delou Bowers told authorities that when they got home, his wife began to perform oral sex on him but then began to bite his penis.

Full Story.

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