The Cowhead Show: Retarded News on theboneonline.com

May 26, 2010

Kevin Cotter of Arizona, was crushed when his wife dumped him after 12 years and took all her stuff, leaving behind only her white wedding dress and saying he could do whatever he liked with it. So he started a website called MyExwifesWeddingDress.com, where he's gradually working through 101 things to do with it. So far he's up to 23, including using it as a yoga mat, pasta strainer, Christmas tree skirt, gym towel, dog bed, and ice pack for his knee. It's drawn thousands of hits and suggestions, including using it to plug the Gulf oil leak. He also notes that the dress has held up remarkably well. His ex told him to get therapy to deal with his anger and asked him to take down the site. But Cotter refused, saying he's not angry, he's just having some creative fun.

MyExwifesWeddingDress.com

May 4, 2010

A Massachusetts woman who was born without arms or kneecaps is preparing to test for her black belt in taekwondo. Sheila Radziewicz was scheduled to take her test next month at Bruce McCorry's Martial Arts in Peabody. The 32-year-old brown belt, who was born with TAR syndrome has been training in martial arts for three years. McCorry, her teacher, said he's never seen a student like her. Despite her condition, she can use nunchucks and break boards with her kicks. Sheila, who works as an advocate for victims of domestic violence, said she has never let her disability stop her. At 23, Sheila earned her driver's license. She uses a car that she controls with her feet.

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March 22, 2010

A nude Chinese man stopped a taxi by running out into the street in front of it. As the perplexed driver got out of the car to see what was going on, the naked man grabbed the vehicle's bumper and tried (without success) to lift it off the ground. As a crowd of puzzled onlookers gathered to watch the spectacle, the man continued in his efforts to lift the car. Eyewitnesses reported that he would sometimes shout "please give me strength!" as he struggled with the taxi.

Police eventually arrived, and attempted to detain the man and get him clothed again, at which point the man hid under a police van and refused to come out. He was eventually retrieved from under the vehicle by police officers and medical staff.

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February 9, 2010

66-year-old Aretha Brown lives in Callahan, Florida (about 15 miles northwest of Jacksonville). About six weeks ago, CSX Railroad parked a 40-car train on some tracks that cross through Aretha's front yard between her home and the nearest street aAnd they've been there ever since. So now every time Aretha wants to leave the house she has to either climb under the train or make a 20-minute walk around it.

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February 9, 2010

A 21-year-old woman from Michigan appeared in court without a lawyer on an operating under the influence charge and the judge told her to sit down with the prosecutor, 31-year-old Carl Gabrielse, so he could explain the charges. Basically, Carl told her she was going to lose her license, and she told him she couldn't afford to. So he made her a deal - he'd reduce the charge if she'd service him SEXUALLY. She held up her end of the bargain in the courthouse bathroom and he held up his by dropping the woman's charge to impaired driving.

But the next day she started feeling bad about what she'd done. So she called the cops, and they put a wire on her to try and catch Carl making plans to meet up with her for sex. And it worked.

Long story short, Carl's been charged with third-degree criminal sexual conduct and misconduct in public office. If he's convicted, he could get up to 20 years in prison. And as a final insult, the woman is STILL getting charged with drunk driving.

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January 29, 2010

18-year-old Jessica Alexander and 29-year-old Tammy Ortega of Tennessee called one of those chat lines for "hot singles" and started talking to an unidentified guy, who offered them CIGARETTES in exchange for sex. And the ladies agreed. But after allowing the man to simultaneously defile them, they filed a fake RAPE CHARGE because they "didn't enjoy the sex."

Jessica and Tammy were both arrested and charged with filing a false report. The big-spender with the cigarettes still hasn't been identified.

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January 21, 2010

Two weeks ago, 43-year-old Scott Sullivan of Michigan became furious when he caught his 14-year-old daughter making out with her 16-year-old boyfriend in the backseat of the kid's car. Scott dragged his daughter out of the boyfriend's car, jumped into the driver's seat and drove the car out onto a FROZEN LAKE, where he left it with the kid still inside. The boyfriend tried to drive the car off the ice, but one of the tires had already sunk into the water. The next day, a tow truck was able to pull the kid's car back onto solid ground.

Scott was arrested and charged with malicious destruction of property and reckless driving. If he's convicted, he could get more than TEN YEARS in prison.

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January 21, 2010

32-year-old Suzanne Morgan lives in England with her 17-month-old daughter named Tasha and a puppy named Dixie. A few months ago, Dixie started barking to be fed but there wasn't any dog food left in the house. So to get Dixie to shut up, Suzanne started to BREASTFEED the dog.

Whats worse is that Dixie liked it so much that now Suzanne has stopped buying dog food altogether, choosing to only feed her breast milk.

December 8, 2009

At about 3 a.m. on Friday, December 4, 46-year-old Ellena Barron of Fort Pierce, Florida was pulled over by an police officer for committing a traffic violation. Ellena then tried to weasel her way out of a ticket by FLASHING HER BREASTS at the cop.

When the cop asked Ellena why she'd just flashed him, she responded "I thought that's what you wanted to see."

Appearently not, as Ellena's tactic backfired and she was arrested for indecent exposure. Her bail was set at $250.

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December 8, 2009

Police were startled when they saw a truck driver going down the highway with a cardboard windshield and his head sticking out the window so he could see to steer.

When stopped, the driver told police he'd broken his windshield in an accident several days earlier but had no time in his tight schedule to fix it. So he replaced it with cardboard. He would drive with his head out the window until his neck became too stiff and numb, then look through holes in the cardboard for awhile. He'd driven over 400 miles that way.

Police said his face was frozen and purple. They ordered him to fix the problem before going back on the road.

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